Reflecting

I am having so much trouble getting my thoughts into words today so please excuse the fuzz. I have been thinking about the last year and everything that has happened. Now that H has had her palate repair and is getting on with being an almost toddler I have had the chance to think about her babyhood and how it was completely different to what we expected. 

In the minutes before the ultrasound where we found her cleft I was sitting in the waiting room knitting and talking to a lovely old man. His wife was in for a routine scan to check on something or other in an existing condition she had. I have no memory of what it was, but I do remember the love in his words when he talked about her and the adventures they had in their long lives together. I wonder if her news that day was positive. I have only thought about that couple and that moment in time speaking with the man a couple of times since. Once when H was about three months old and I confessed to my homeopath that I had not picked up my knitting needles since that day, and the second time when I finally did pick up my needles to finish the piece I was working on. What a bittersweet feeling that was. 

I know I have said it about a thousand times in my blog since her birth, but H really is such an amazing person. One of the Mums at school described her perfectly last week; a busy little girl. She just has so much that she wants to get on with and do. This now includes opening the dishwasher and standing up to open the tupperware cupboard. She will open things, pull everything out, have a play and then move on to the next place I have left accessible to her and repeat.The girls put her on the hand me down tricycle last weekend. She had a ball and was so cranky when it was time to come inside. So much to do and such a strong personality wanting to do it.

This is a far cry from her early weeks when we were just home from the hospital. There were a few days where she was very sleepy and just did not want to feed. After a fantastic pep talk from my oldest and dearest friend, I used a special squeezy bottle to get more milk in with less effort on her behalf. Following that  there has been no looking back and now our clever poppet is even signing for milk or food when she needs nourishment.

About friends, I sometimes think too about the ones we have lost contact with since H's birth. My logical sense understands that it is a fact of life that some friendships run their course, and that we have had to be very engrossed in our little family, but it still hurts that some people have not been there. Of course on the flipside are the amazing people in our lives. Old friends, catch up now and again friends, new friends and acquaintances who have since become friends. Without them I don't know where we would have been.

Our girls have all just grown before our very eyes. G who used to be so clingy almost forgets to kiss me goodbye at school and B has had a countdown going on for the last four months to her prep orientation. Both have been through so much and come out strong yet caring.

H has her 12 month check up tomorrow. I am getting in early as we have a busy few weeks ahead. It is with a new doctor as her gp has gone on maternity leave. I am cyber stalking her as we speak and really hope she is nice and caring. I can tell that she is around my age, educated at UQ, has children of her own, prior to starting at the clinic last month was a paed in the public system and likes to shop online at my friend Nikki's favourite shop, Charlipop. Will know more tomorrow.....

Another celebration

We recently went to a wedding at Nooorrsa but did not realise until too late that the sd card for the camera was back in Brisbane. It has been lovely seeing photos taken by friends and family that have captured things we would have missed had we been taking them. I love my girls in this one. H, looking more like a toddler than a baby, as always is watching and learning from her sister and G is so delighted playing in the sand. 

The wedding was just gorgeous and bride and groom seemed to have a blissful day. Tea Tree bay was a wonderful setting followed by a fun reception at Berados. Children were really looked after by the restaurant with a great kids table complete with paper on the table for them to draw on and nice meals instead of the usual nuggets and chip fare. My big girls were seated with a lovely family of four girls and had such a good time. Husband and I were seated next to her parents who were egging us on to got for a forth "to even things up". Yeah, I don't think so!

An old favourite

In keeping with simple delights for these holidays, this morning we made some play dough. As usual I used the trusty recipe from the cream of tartar tub.


2 cups plain flour
4 tablespoons cream of tartar
2 tablespoons cooking oil
1 cup salt
2 cups water
Food colouring


Place all ingredients into a saucepan and heat at a medium temp until it forms a dough that is not too sticky.
Once it has formed a dough, bring out and knead as it cools.

It is the first time I have made it since we have been back in Australia so has kept their attention all morning. Meanwhile I am being a big sook wrapped in my dressing gown complaining about the cold weather. My trusty smartphone tells me that it is 11 degrees (51F) outside. YUCK.

Debrief

Monday saw our little one's palate repair. She was on morphine afterward so everything was a bit of an effort. Pesky things like breathing and staying awake were all too hard to bother with. 

She had a moderate amount of bleeding too, but nothing too bad. 

All but one of the registrars changed over since her last procedure. One of the new ones is fantastic and from a parent's perspective I see a good future for him. He cuddled H a couple of times and engaged with her. He also did all the right things with me like introducing himself and answering questions thoroughly. The new woman however has a little further to go..

The NUM was fantastic and very available with his office door, which is in the main corridor usually open. As usual the nurses were wonderful. They really are angels. 

Another thing I appreciated about the visit was that the anaesthetist recognised that H was unsettled before her op so asked me to accompany her into theatre. This is not something they routinely do with babies under the age of 1. It was good to see for myself that within seconds of getting into theatre she was asleep and ready to go and the volunteer explained to me that having me there, H took deeper breaths than she would have if she were even more unsettled.

Things were pretty heavy on the ward. Last time she was in there were lots of misadventure by otherwise healthy kids leading to a night's stay and tonsillectomies. This time there were quite a few regulars and new babies with a long road ahead.

Feeding has been an absolute bitch. Usually H feeds herself and takes her own bottle. Maybe once a day I can give her a cuddle while she drinks her milk. As you can imagine, going from being able to feed yourself to wearing arm splints and not being able to suck or eat is no fun.  I had a big teary one day after she vomited a whole feed when I gave her panadol. I got the head tilt and "would you like a break" from the nurse.  I chose to grab a blanket and cuddle up for a nap with my sweety which was a much better choice for us.

The speech therapist from the hospital and our CleftPALS contact have both given me many, many suggestions. Something that works for one feed often does not follow on to the next. Our biggest success has been mashed potato and pumpkin with her milk poured down the side. Each mouthful is mainly milk and a bit of mash. So 2.5ml at a time we are slowly, messily getting the food in.

She has found a new passion this week, drawing. Big sisters use whiteboard markers on the fridge and she has a go at every chance she can get.

So now we are on to the school holidays. All three girls have colds so we are keeping close to home while they get well. Stopping and appreciating simple things like a cubby in the backyard is probably just what they need right now. A nice way to finish a big week.

One last thing on an already long (for me) post, where were we when we heard about our first woman PM? Awaiting discharge from the hospy sitting at her bed. Everyone else in the room had their TV on and another family had to tell me what was going on. That explained why I could not find ABC kids earlier while flipping through the channels.

Sign baby

H's Speech Therapist suggested introducing some signs to help her on the way to speaking. I think even after palate repair it will be good while she works out what to do with all the new sounds she will (hopefully!!) be able to make. I have been making the sign for milk with her over the last couple of weeks as well as singing songs with gestures like Twinkle Twinkle and Open Shut Them.

I found little gem at the ABC shop yesterday and have already mentioned it to a couple of Mums who have children with delayed speech or hearing issues so I thought I might as well post about it here. Gorgeous Sofya from Play School teaches AUSLAN with interviews from parents and great tips to help making signing with babies / toddlers a success. On top of that, there are some nursery rhymes to sign and sing along to.

Just a few days till her op now. Last time around it consumed almost all my thoughts, but this time it is not quite as intense. I have dropped trying to get her to practice with her post op teats as it was just leading to tears- hers as well as mine!! We WILL get there.

Sign Baby

Rated: E (exempt from classification)
Released: 2009 
ISBN / Catalogue Number: 0760680

Then and now

Four years ago we had a ballet obsessed little girl. Each day she would wear dress ups or at the very least a twirly dress. 

She spent hours reading her book Tina Ballerina's Ballet Class by Christian Posey and dancing along following the directions.

Now the twirly dresses are a thing of the past but she is now taking ballet class and looks very elegant in her uniform.

Nine months

Nine months ago the sweet girl beside me was a tiny little baby less than 24 hours old. She was drinking mls of colostrum through a syringe while sucking on a finger. Now she wants to hold her very own bottle. (still my

milk- Hooray!!)

Less than two weeks until her palate repair and I am feeling those same things again. Some of the unknown has been removed and I know full well that her recovery will be horrible and sad and overwhelming for both her and me. She is still refusing to use appropriate teats for post op and I fear that things are going to be even worse in the feeding department than after her lip repair.

For now though, here's to a my sweet, tenacious, funny, joyous 9 month old.

New cardi

She just keeps on growing! All the other cardigans I have made for her have already been passed on to little friends so it was time I make another one. 

Pattern Helena by Alison Green Will

 Ravelry Pattern Page | My project page

Yarn Yarnbee

Needle 4 mm and 3mm

Also it is very hard to get a shot of her sitting still. As soon as I snapped this she was back to her usual antics.